Divorce can be one of the toughest things that a person can go through. And really, the choice to spend your whole life with certain person is often done out of pure love. Regardless of the reason why you leave that person, it still hurts like hell.
Sure, if a couple feels happy in a marriage, they would never choose to go through such tough times. When you separate and lose the love of your life, it seems like you lose a part of yourself. But, often there is no other way to solve the problems but to divorce.
Gerald Rogers, a psychiatrist who has experienced the bitter taste of divorce, decided to share some beautiful advice that every married couple has to read.
Even though Rogers wrote this post for men, still both partners should read this message because there are some habits that both partner need to nurture in their relationship, as the relationship is considered to be a mutual thing.
KEEP THE ROMANCE FOREVER
This is one of the most important things in the relationship. Never get lazy, and always try to show your partner how much you love them and that you are the person that they need in their life.
LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOURSELF
It’s impossible to love someone if you don’t have love for yourself in the first place. In this way your partner will reserve a special place in your heart and nobody will be able to get even close to that place. Because loving yourself indicates that you will never betray neither your own heart nor the love of your life.
FALL IN LOVE AGAIN AND AGAIN
It is normal for our personalities to change. Everything that happens throughout the day leaves some consequences on our personality and makes it change. But change should not be the reason for losing your love towards the other person. Instead of judging them, try to win their love back over and over again.
TRY TO SEE THE BEST IN YOUR PARTNER
We all know that nobody is perfect. If we concentrate on the things that we love about our partner, our love will grow. On the contrary, if we focus on the things that irritate us, we will find more and more such things until the love eventually dies.
NEVER TRY TO CHANGE THEM
If you want to experience an eternal love, then you have to accept your partner as they are and never try to change them. If they drastically change for some reason, then you should love what they have become.
CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
If you are nervous or irritated by something that has happened to you throughout the day, don’t throw the blame on your partner for that. Your emotions are your responsibility and you have to control them. So, next time when you feel some negative emotions, take your time to look deep down in yourself and realize what caused those emotions in the first place. Then you could talk to your partner, say how you feel so he could try to heal you.
LET YOUR PARTNER TO ‘JUST BE’
If he complains about something, don’t try to fix it right away. Just listen and tell him that everything is going to be all right. Give your support, love and let them know that you will always be there for him/her.
BE SILLY
You don’t have to be serious all the time. Forget about those boring grown-up behavior! Be silly, smile, laugh and make your partner laugh.
TOUCH HIS/HER SOUL EVERY DAY
Realize what’s the thing that makes them feel loved and appreciate and do those things daily. It is your job to make you partner feel like he is the most important thing in your life and that you can’t live without him.
BE PRESENT
When you are together with your spouse try to erase everything from your head and give him/her not only your time but your focus, your attention and your soul too.
DON’T ACT LIKE AN IDIOT
It is quite natural for us to make some mistakes, but you should be careful not to make too many or too big of mistakes, and also try to learn from them.
GIVE HIM/HER SPACE
If you truly love your partner, then it means that you won’t mind if you give him/her some space. This is especially important when you and your partner have kids.
BE VULNERABLE
You are not able to do everything. That’s why it’s crucial for your relationship to admit your mistakes and be vulnerable in front of your partner.
LEARN HOW TO GROW TOGETHER
Find something that motivates you both of you to grow together. It can be common dreams, visions or life goals.
DON’T FIGHT OVER MONEY
Instead of fighting and worrying about the lack of money, you should calmly sit down and find a way to win it.
FORGIVE AND FORGET
Never hold the grudge over some unimportant things. Remember that there is something more important than those stupid quarrels that are trying to ruin it – it’s called love. Concentrate on the present and future and leave the past behind you – forgive and forget!
